Autism and this Single Mom
It's been over a year since I had an actual date and if you all remember from a blog some time ago? The really lovely chap who insulted my kids and me on date one? Yeah, he is the reason why. I don't have the emotional energy to invest in nonsense. Do I need to explain (yet again) why not? I don't, but I am going to. Not for any of you, but for me. It's my way of letting it go without throat punching some 'do-gooder' or some fella who has decided he is capable of swooping into this equation at all.
First of all, saying I hate men is not true. I have many men I love and respect in my world...the two young men that I am proud to call sons are amongst them. So that in itself is pure nonsense. Not wanting to date is just that. So people can poison that waterhole without me.
Secondly, drop the romantic crap. There might be some unselfish person who isn't some kind of deviant predator that would see this life and me and want it all (extremely doubtful). Thus far I have not seen enough unselfish behavior in this country for a long time...that is evident daily by the long line of immature political arguments and self-effacing sufferers of social media drama. (It's ladies too...the jerk ratio is high these days.)
Thirdly, relationships are hard work and I just don't have the patience to put up with someone else's baggage (since there is this idea we carry it together; I am not down). I don't want anyone carrying my anything, because I have got it handled just fine. I don't need help with my kids (especially from someone who will likely be the hugest issue; it's autism man, read up on it).
And lastly, I am worth not settling for anything or anyone less than I deserve and my kids are worth even more. If there is such a man who fits the ten page list and meets the relevant requirements to fit in my life (like realizing he and I will in all likelihood never reside together) I have to believe that it will just organically happen, because at the moment the pickings are slim (that one is for you Nicole). We as a country are so self-centered and self-focused that it is likely not in the cards. I refuse to jump relationship-to-relationship. I refuse to put myself and my kids through the hellish dating process (especially what people this day and age deem as dating).
So for those of you who want to sit in your fairytale dreams of what you want to believe my life could be...Stop. I let that ship sail. I am at peace (unless people want to push me then you're infringing on my peace). It's gotten to the point that so many care too much about my life that if it actually happens you'll miss it; because, I cut out the unnecessary pressure and people from my life. Notice 'my life'? Live yours and let me be.
For this single mom, I am all about reality, acceptance, and moving on. I am okay with it and so should you. Please find a hobby or some kind of pastime (also for my friend Nicole, hahaha) and for the love of all that is holy...Ladies (and some men) learn to enjoy being alone. People die every day alone and not married; many had full and happy lives. Quit investing your happiness in someone else. Only you can make you happy. Here is a big shoutout and thank you to all my friends who get it and just leave me to figure me out, you're so appreciated. <end rant>
